Quote: r u ok? I have been thinking about u all morning...did she come home real late?...any excuses? why did she not want to decide between OM and u? I feel ur pain on ur sitch...I know u might not be thinking ur dbering right now but what ur going through could help a lot of us, including you (for feedback)...please update when ur ready.
Vince, this an e-mail I sent to a very good friend this morning about last nite take it for what it is: I am done with the posting right now! I am so far away from DB that I might as well start my own message board! So to fill you in I finally went to bed on my own. She finally came home at a 11 pm! I was not going to say anything but it was too much to take, and I want to take action (Or should I say vent and F/U on my morning outburst) So that is what I did! I tried to speak calmly but that only lasted a few minutes. Her story is yes she went to talk to him, and then she went to a movie by herself! I said tell me the truth, and she said she was but couldn't look at me (does this whenever she is telling a big lie)! Well she said she can't end it with the OM, and that she is screwed up. I asked what happened to what she said in the afternoon, and her breaking it off because the OM is a bad addicition and is going to hurt her! This went back and forth and then she started to talk about how when she was talking to the OM that she realized I was being controlling again, and that it was my fault for her moving back in because I pressured her, and that I knew that she was not over the OM! I lost it! I told her she was a willing participant, proclaimed her undeniable love for me and wanted to be with me forever, renewed our commitment with new rings, and that she gave her word that the OM would never be contacted again or in her life again! Boy am I a master manipulator to get her to say all that by myself! She had no response so I used the same speach again that this has to end and if the OM is so great go live with him and destroy your life! See how much support he will give you in school, and that she would have never get through school without me! If she were to share this with any of her friends or family they would say she is acting crazy and that to get as far away from the OM as possible! I also said if she is addicted to him, it is like a drug, and that she needs an intervention! Well she had enough a said stop! I kept at her with that she needs to make a decision him or me and if it is him then go be with him! Finally stopped and went to sleep! She aske me to sleep on the couch, and I said no! As long as I am living her I am sleeping in my own bed!So we slept together! Middle of the nite our 4yr old wakes up looking for Mommy. I always get up with the kids, my wife never has, so I said if the kid wants her Mommy she should have her, So I woke up my W! Well she did not like that! Kid went back to sleep, and W said I should not be so rude and I did not have to do that! I lost it again (3 Iaam)! Said in the morning she decides if it is the OM or me! I an fuming, and want her out of the house! I go down and get our suitcases (stil out from Mexico) and bring them up to the bedroom! She sees and says what the hell am I doing! I told her if it is the OM she chooses to pack up and leave! We stop and try to sleep! Morning comes, and she says that she can't believe I brought up the suitcases! I told her to make the decision. She says she choices neither one of us, and that she is not leaving and I can't force her out! (There was alot more said but I am trying to keep it short) She showers, I feel bad, I go in and apologize for blowing up again! She says I have every right to, and I don't deserve this, but I should not blow up in front of the kids! I tell her I do not want her to leave, but we can't go on like this! All she says is I know! I mention that she thanked me for being a friend to her and being there for her, and I said what about her being a friend to me and being there for me! She got angry and said you are right I am not being a good friend to you and again asked to stop the conversation! SORRY this is long! Last thing before she left for school is I told her again that I am sorry, Icare for her deeply, and love her beyond words, but this has to stop, and I don't want to hurt anymore, she does not need to be hurt anymore, and I don't want to see the kids hurt again! Well I am sure I left out alot of important points, and I will fill them in on the next e-mails, but you have a life to!
Tim
my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
