My old thread got locked, so I am starting a new one!
That's because they get filled up fast with your posts about you stewing over everything.
Do I force her out so she can truly appreciate her "love" for this other guy or do I try and keep the family together and go cold?
What makes you think these extremes are your only two options?
Well the emotions got the best of me this morning and I BLEW UP! I told her this has to end and I can't put up with this anymore.
Sounds again like you have to get a handle on controlling your emotions, doesn't it?
Tim, this board is about applying solution oriented principles to one's life and one's self and one's situation. When are you going to do that? After things get worse? After you finally break down from emotional exhaustion? After it's too late?
Well I did everything wrong~!... I am sure I will regret what I did, but I have been living throught this hell since April! I could not hold back my emotions any longer and maybe she needed to see me like that!
What makes you think she needs to see anger and resentment? How is that attractive? That's not what endeared her to you when you first met, is it?
I was the same way. I acted like Switzerland!... I keep the emmoions in and then they come out a little to aggressive sometimes!... Not proud of it.
Don't blame you for not being proud of it. You recognize this flaw in how you interact, and it now points to working on your self, learning how to express your concerns effectively, constructively, instead of turning them inward, which only serves to increase resentment and frustration while problems get bigger.
I did feel better to get things off my chest! In a way I was relieved!
Well, of course it feels better to you to vent. But that doesn't make the sitch better, nor does it make you tap into your higher self and learn new ways to cope.
she realized how wrong she was, and she was making a mistake. She told me she wants to be with me, and that she knows the OM is completely wrong for her, and is totally manipulating her.
He is also very manipulating and controling....which is one of the big reasons why my W left me initially!
Tim, she may very well just be trying to keep the peace in the face of your blowup. And when you do blow up and issue ultimatums, that, my friend, is a form of control, isn't it? So, if you're still demonstrating control type behavior to your W, do you think she really believes anything is going to be different for her going forward?
My W ahs been gone with the OM for over 3.5 hrs! Early today she said she wants to be with me, and she knows the OM is wrong for her! Now she before she leaves she thanx me for being a friend and goes there with no expectations! This is how a friend treats another friend! This is crap!
Well, you don't know what's going on in that 3� hours, but all the same, look at your reaction again! Pure emotion, jumping to conclusion, stewing in your juices.
I know from this morning don't speak when so emmotional but I feel I have to follow through with what I started this morning!
"But"? Point is, you KNOW that you should not react when you're emotional. Why don't you focus on THAT and work on it? Instead, you're already planning on doing the easier thing: exploding again in the morning, knee jerking to your feelings.
You're not helping yourself nor your situation any. Better think hard about that, because you're absolutely going to kill it off, and then you'll be posting here with more rage and despair. Then what are you going to do? You're going to wish you had reigned it in and followed the advice to detach. Well, instead of then having a more damaged sitch and regrets wishing you had handled it differently, why don't you just decide to do it now?
