I get so mixed up between your threads but the one question I am left with is how do your wives do it?
How do they continue their affairs knowing that you want to save the marriage? How does the stress of living with their H while having an affair not get to them?
I was wondering what makes your sitches different than mine was when my H came home after our first separation when I still had OM. I cracked within 3 months and dumped OM because of the stress and all the emotion from both sides. The one glaring difference I see is that while my H hated it - he DID NOT make it easy for me by any means, never "let" me do it and was always telling me he just couldn't believe I was doing that. How did I do that and still go to church? Now I was never one to just leave the kids every night and eventually it all just got to be too much and the OM began to call the house phone and that just struck me wrong. It was as of he was flaunting it in my H's face and even in my warped mind at the time, I could still see that lacked common decency. So I dumped OM but that by no means fixed my marriage because my frame of mind was still so jacked up. By then, I wanted to be "on my own" and it took a second separation and REALLY being ALONE before the blinders started coming off and I began to see straight.
So what are you two doing differently? One thing I see is a lot of what will be perceived by your wives to be ass kissing and I am sorry but that isn't going to win your wives back. Somehow there must be a way that you can be supportive because of your W's real issues but yet still have enough spine to draw the line at just how much disrespect you will put up with.....
I'm sorry if I seem harsh. I don't mean to be that way to you two. It's your wives that make me flip my lid. How can they sleep doing what came damn close to causing me to have a nervous breakdown. Even with all my anger at that time, I had a terrible time looking in the mirror every morning....Thank GOD I am free of that deception. I'll pray that they, too, will find freedom from it. It's a monster that destroys everything in it's path....if they let it.
