Believe me, I understand how you feel. I've exploded during arguments with my H many, many times. Unfortunately it just isn't productive. There is a difference between setting up a boundary and going overboard and doing something to push your W away from you. I don't know what that boundary is, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to GAL.
When you get really upset about what your W is doing, remember the positives you have going for you. At the moment she is still coming home to you every night and not the OM.
