Hit the wall now what......New thread

[Tim297181]

Thanx NY, Hope, and Dsny I really appreciate your posts!
NY you are right I laready know from her reactions what place she is in. She is on her own tangent and is dealing with it the "best" way she knows how!
Dsny your comments really hit home! Every time we got into a deep conversation when we supposedly were recounciling I would ask a ton of questions about the OM and the R. I thought it was part of the healing process, and my W liked being open an honest so there was no guessing games! I just lost focus and started to push for more and more info on what had happened. I actually started to make excuses for me from what she was telling me!
Anyways I just came back from my therapist! She was blown away on what was happening! She thought when she saw us together that if 1 couple that would make it, it was us! Anyways it was more of a chance for me to vent and hopefully give some insight into my W therapy session tomorrow. My therapist really wants us to work this out. She agreed that I should keep my mouth shut about our sessions right now and see where my W goes with her therapy. Therapist agreed with everyone and let my W make her own decisions and live her life however unreal it is!
Therapist brought up one interesting point in my sitch:
I have always been the rock, and the one trying to make sure my W is Ok, and able to pick the pieces up and make things work. I have always been that person THERE for my W regardless of how bad it is! In her relationship with the OM she is that person who is always there for him. Since he is an alcoholic and extremely dependent and needy, she plays my role in her relationship! In some way it gives her power and a sense of being needed! I thought about and said I have needs to but they are for love, affection, stability, support in tough times, and just wanting to share my life with someone I love! It is really strange how the mind works!
I am going to go home late and give the W a chance to spend sometime alone with the kids! I know as soon as i walk in the door the kids will be all over me, and my W will either go downstairs to study or maybe on another date!