Yes she would say I betrayed her if she finds out on her own!
I know from past experience that telling her would give her a reason to stop!
I want to keep seeing the same therapist because she knows the entire sitch, and hopefully can help both of us through this with the both sides of the story.
I'd tend to agree with your viewpoint about the C being more effective knowing both of you. And I see you feel between a rock and a hard place with either not informing your W or informing her, so I'll ask another question: What precludes you from discussing the reasonable viability with her of both of you seeing the same C, especially considering that doing so will enhance the C's effectiveness with each of you so that you both benefit no matter how this turns out?
I have a real problem with what is going on with my W.... Has she lost her mind? Wake up!
She may or may never "wake up", so the question really becomes, what are you going to do, not her... you!
