Ok, let me be clear, I think I know just above nothing right now. I am at the very beginning of my journey. The only thing that has changed it that I know I'm on one now. The true learning begins now. Thanks for the slap. I am not bitter yet. I am not off the ride yet either. Like I said, it's easy because the tests have been small in the past couple days. Let's see how hard you have to slap me when I get pushed REALLY hard. I am trying, that's all I can claim right now, and without you all, I would not be where I am. I can do all the work in the world, and I am willing to, but you all give me the support and guidance I need to stay on the path. Thanks to one and all!
Quote: Thanks for the slap. I am not bitter yet. I am not off the ride yet either. Like I said, it's easy because the tests have been small in the past couple days. Let's see how hard you have to slap me when I get pushed REALLY hard.
LOL!! The man has a sense of humor and don't you EVER friggin lose that, promise? Cause then forget the slap, I'll be bringing out the whip and if you get really bad, we'll pull Kismet into it...she generally covers the Southern Hemisphere but occassionally she helps me out up here.
Right now you are leaps ahead of me when I first started out on here and in my search...you're also leaps ahead of others on here too.
BTW, when are you going to change your name to the name that NYS suggested? I think it's overdue!! I started off with one name on here and then changed it when I started my new path...I've lived up to it very nicely. Just ask most of the folks on here!! LOL!!
The bitterness is so easy to get. You can become jaded, bitter, hidden or supressed anger...and it's important my friend that you feel all your feelings through this journey. Maybe start a journal or journal here...vent here...just at least work through things.
I have a friend, okay my exH, exGF, I've tried to help her recover from the BS of my exH...afterall I was an expert. She has been in therapy 3yrs over him...and let me tell you, I love the woman dearly. She had so much to offer someone and she let him take all the good in her. Breaks my heart.
Well Lisa, thanks. I do have a strong sense of humor and I will be changing my name soon. Also, I am still on the ride for sure. Tonight I have started crying for no freaking reason. Sitting with my W on the couch and I looked over at her and quietly lost it. The detachment works wonders for me in terms of not reacting to her emotions and actions, but it does nothing so far for me in terms of her beauty's ability to bring me to my knees. I gotta stop this too. I know.
Well, this was a rough night, but different rough than before. I was sad as hell but it was not due to anything my W did, it was just my sadness over what is no more. I can't really explain it yet, but I cried and it felt different. I felt like I was doing it for me, not anyone else. I didn't feel good, but it was not near as bad as last week. So I am truly still on the ride. It may be a different coaster but I am flying up and down the hills all the same. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I hope I can wake up relatively happy like I did the last two mornings. Baby steps backwards...ready to take one big one back in the right direction again.
