I am learning so much about myself, and how people in general are. I still have a LONG way to go to attain even grasshopper status let alone guru...
You've only just begun...and don't for one minute think you're off the rollercoaster all this easily...I did a few months back, thought I was done and poof...another rough ride...but at least you have the insight and understanding. That will help guide you through all this.
So, I now look at my W and see this person who thinks because of this wonderful new guy that makes her happy (so SHE thinks) for a few hours a day, that she's found the key to life. I now know that she will, at some point have to turn inward and find her own happiness.
Oops...you're focusing here...grasshopper!! Just slightly...so only a mere slap of the wrist. The truth is that she may NEVER turn inward. She may very well continue to float from R to R in search of happiness and never finding it. And if you don't believe me, I'll be quite happy to forward you the number of my exH. He a legend in his own mind.
Yes it hurts, I can relate, I hurt because I learned that all the love in the world couldn't stop someone from possibly drinking themselves to death. You cannot save someone from themselves...as painful as it may be. So you detach and let go. You are doing quite fine...just stay focused and we'll snap you back into place...because I've seen it go overboard where people become too focused on detaching that they actually become bitter, unpleasant people, not trusting, not willing to let go and move forward...that is not the intent.
