Thanks Lisa. That helps. I don't think I am in denial but I am smart enough to recognize, as Vince suggested in his thread, that I seem to have turned a corner pretty quick here and I am just covering my bases. I want to believe in myself, and it's coming. For the first time in my life, I really feel like I'm NOT in denial. I am finally aware of myself, my role in my own life for better or worse, and how my lack of awareness has affected my W and everyone around me. I cannot, nor do I want to, predict the future. I would LOVE for my W to see the changes in me, once sufficient time goes by to make them more real to her, and agree to work on our R. I would LOVE for her to tell my tomorrow that she's left the OM but I can no longer wait for that to get my happiness. I am still sad as hell sometimes but today, for the first time in a LONG time, I walked out to go to lunch and the sky was a beautiful blue, I heard the birds and the wind in the trees. It was just beautiful. I know it sounds corney, but when I look back at who I think I may have been, at times when I was being myself and not pleasing someone else, I would have noticed those things. I noticed them today. Maybe she'll notice tomorrow...
