Quote: Do those things mean I am NOT in denial? I am denying the negative feelings that could come from those realizations but is that the same as denial?
To me, denial would not be acknowleding that there was an A, nor your part in the demise of the R, pretending that life was still great and that your WAS was coming home and you were going to live blissfully ever after and ride off into the sunset together.
Denial would also be to me, not working on yourself to improve yourself. Falling under the not realizing your role in the demise of the M. There are people that as I say continously chase their tails. The facts are the fact, sometimes people don't like to accept the truth, they prefer to receive nothing but attaboys instead of facing themselves and working on changing who they are.
I went through denial for a few reasons, one because I couldn't grasp how he could give up everything for nothing. I kept thinking, oh he'll be back. More importantly, I was in denial of what our R really was...I had created almost a fantasy of what I thought it was instead of what it really was, not a healthy R.
I had problems detaching initially because everyone got involved...no matter how far I tried to get from the sitch, I was pulled back into it. Finally I think we (everyone involved) has detached themselves. Funny the person who detached the first was his best friend and not because of our sitch...because he learned who Dave really was and wanted no part of him in his life anymore...
So which came first, the chicken or the egg...did I detach first and then accepted I was in denial? Or vice versa...not quite sure what happened first.
