Quote: Perhaps you could detach by going more to the gym and attaining your ideal figure, planning activities that you always wanted to do with the kids, etc. You can ask your wife if she would like to part in the activities you plan, but make sure she knows that your going to do them with or without her. Your wife met the OM in the gym, maybe this would fulfill her emotional need for a physically attractive spouse.
You are spot on! Funny, like so many others, I omit things from my posts, mainly by accident. I am working out more now. If not a the gym, at home. I know for years, maybe our whole marriage, she's been slightly embarrassed by my physical appearance. I am good looking (so they say) but it's my body that has slipped for a long time now. Well, those days are OVER. I lost almost 20 pounds and am working on building muscle. BTW, the OM, from the very brief and long distance look I got at him, is VERY fit, almost looks like a body builder. So, yes, I think that's a very direct message to me. I am also doing much more with the kids, without her planning it. I do ask her to go, but if she doesn't, then oh well.
Quote: You can also detach by taking care of the housework and showing your wife that you are more than able to take up the slack caused by her extra-curricular activities and fend for yourself and the kids.
This is also VERY important to me. All my life I have been somewhat of a slob (as far as house cleaning goes, not personal hygiene). I clean for her, but never for me. I am to the point now where I am recognizing the need for cleanliness in my life and so I really want to improve in this area. Even before the sitch, I was starting to come around to this!
Quote: Detaching is really all about becoming the man you know you can be and building up the life you always wanted. Hopefully your wife will want to take part in this life by your side, but if not you will still walk away a better man than you ever were.
Amen to that. I am there today. What I mean is that I am starting to understand what being MY man means to me. I am realizing that I have never taken time to figure out what I want in my life. I am now starting down that road but since I have never been here before, it's dark and winding.
