Quote: I really related to Frank in his thread when he said that sometimes detaching can be perceived as a huge "more of the same" from his W because of all the time in the past he was not available for her.
To me "detaching" doesn't necessarily mean pulling away from your wife. To me it means doing more activities for yourself and becoming self-dependent.
Perhaps you could detach by going more to the gym and attaining your ideal figure, planning activities that you always wanted to do with the kids, etc. You can ask your wife if she would like to part in the activities you plan, but make sure she knows that your going to do them with or without her. Your wife met the OM in the gym, maybe this would fulfill her emotional need for a physically attractive spouse.
You can also detach by taking care of the housework and showing your wife that you are more than able to take up the slack caused by her extra-curricular activities and fend for yourself and the kids.
Detaching is really all about becoming the man you know you can be and building up the life you always wanted. Hopefully your wife will want to take part in this life by your side, but if not you will still walk away a better man than you ever were.
