Thanks. I don't know what it will take. We are really attached at our kids.
Detachment will come. I think maybe with a little more time. I also think she is very good at throwing little bones, either out of a desire to manipulate, or guilt, that keep me from believing the absolute worst, and therefore, staying the faithful lapdog.
I am not that at all. It will take a little more time to get to where my actions match my words.
As for the new friends, GAL, as I have stated many times before, (and I might add, NYS addressed this issue in another thread very well) my having a LIFE when she does not is one of the major causes of our problem. I was gone 3-4 nights a week. Although it was work, it was fun work (I cover sports as a photographer) and she knows I have many friends there so it's really like a night out with friends (the pay is NOT enough to justify).
I am getting a life as much as I can without doing more of the same that she resents now. I am going out to movies, running, asserting my desires more, etc.
I don't know how long detachment usually takes but it's been less than a month for me and to me it seems like trying to undo 10 years of a relationship all in a couple weeks, all the while trying to figure out how to survive.
I am feeling positive about my eventual ability to do what needs to be done. I am already not talking OM/R more than about once a week, and even then, very brief. I think I am doing ok. I am in control, somewhat at least, of what I present to the world, and I need to keep working on that.
Thanks again for the comments.
