Actually I think that you and Tim have totally different situations. Tims has been going at this since early 2005 and already has gone through seperation and a false reconciliation whereas your situation is relatively fresh.
The length of time plays a role in that your wife is still confused and unsure of what the future holds and respects you enough to not contact or meet the OM blatently in front of you, whereas I get the impression that Tim's wife has absolutely no respect for him.
Given the freshness of your situation, I would definately try to provide your wife with a comfortable and safe environment and show her at every opportunity how much you care for her by providing support. Nevertheless, this does not mean that you cannot outline certain boundaries which you would consider as deal-breakers (meeting the OM in your home, exposing the kids to OM, etc.). There must be limits to the abuse you are willing to endure.
Although you must show your wife that you love her, I don't believe that you have to be a doormat to do so. Especially at the beginning you may feel that you being a doormat, but by setting boundaries during this difficult period and eventually enforcing them you will maintain some form of self-respect.
My comment on Tim's thread was not really aimed at you, because I think you are doing a good job so far and you are both at totally different stages.
As somebody once said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Should you still be in the same situation a few months from now and you have not changed your strategy, you will get the "get some balls" comment from me.
Tim's situation is different in that she had already left and he allowed her to come back without setting any guidelines for her return. Now she continues to walk all over him and he is continuing to enable her!! That is insanity.
