I really echo NYS's comments here. I've found that over the past couple of weeks, the more I let go, it does appear to have an effect on her moods. While not fully blown emotional detachment, I've told her that I understand what she is going through, that I would be here for her no matter what and that these are things she has to come to grips with on her own. Hard to describe, when I talk to her about things, I'm more "open ended", but reassuring.
The main idea here is that no matter what you say, what you do or how you feel, it can never change what she is going through. She must come to decisions about these things on her own without your influence. As hard as that is to put into practice, it really is the way it has to be. The more you fail to do that, the deeper into depression she will fall because she is unable to live up to expectations.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
