Only 2 people know the truth. Me and her. I just hope the guilt will set in soon and she realizes what shes doing to us.
How very true...it is only between the two of you. You each know the roles that you played in the demise of the R. I say this because it does take two to tango, it takes two to keep a marriage together, it also takes two to bring it to an end. This is where you take the focus off her...You can't do anything to change her or where she is. She's on her own time schedule. You can't rush it.
However, you can look at this as a chance to dig into your soul and see the role you played. It's tough and painful to look at oneself in a mirror and get down to work. But it has a payoff...if your W decides to work on the M, you are better abled to be there or if you end up moving forward you have the tools and understanding to offer into a new R with soemone else.
Guilt is strong motivator here...but it works two ways...it can keep the WAS away from returning. Ego, pride and guilt...just read all the posts on here...A great deal of the WAS lack self-esteem and the guilt eats them up. Or if she does return because of the guilt...where is she going to be emotionally? Is she going to walk around life like a zombie? Feeling that her return home was only because of her obligation...not healthy for either of you, nor any children in the home. That's why the WAS needs to go through this journey, while you go through yours. There is always the hope that you both find your way back together again. It's a long road, ask anyone currently reconceiling...that's why you take the time now to learn and focus on you.
