NY S, if you don't mind my asking, how do you feel about this now?
It was a pleasant surprise. It was nice to feel that our roles have been reversed a little bit, but that's just about my feeling "vindicated" some, it's neither here nor there. What's more important is her saying that she's dissipated the negative baggage (which leaves the positives to be then brought to the top), "been sentimental lately", "sad", indicating a reflecting back on us, obviously thinking good thoughts about me, an emotional attachment about me, that she wishes my GAL things had occurred while we were together because it would've made "her happy", "thrilled", which may imply regrets, that she was getting choked up while writing and telling me she's "all along" considered me a good soul, good hearted, good man, which indicates to me that she's realizing I wasn't necessarily the problem, and that she's telling me all this to boot. That's all pretty neat in my book.
I don't know why he needs a safety net; he's made it clear he's "not coming back".
Points out why so in the "Men Who Can't Love" book: Out of the primary relationship, they now not have the pressures they were experiencing that triggered their anxieties, they're now free to miss the good things that were there. Plus, they have a mental need to have an "out" from whatever new relationship they're in in order to feel comfortable, even if they never intend on using that out. Sort of like thinking, "Well, if this doesn't work out, I can always get divorced". Same thing my K is doing probably. Perhaps OM's not everything she dreamed he'd be, could be neither is her life after all this time, maybe she still has doubts about her longer term prospects with him, so she needs to know I'm still there, in case, otherwise she's "stuck" or has to find new unknown unfamiliar options or face being alone, which is all uncomfortable stuff, as you may well know? And now that I've been more obvious about moving on and GAL, she senses that and fears the loss of me?
Know what I thought about doing? Calling o.w. (if I had her no.) and saying, "Tell your boyfriend to stop calling me."
