By no means would I suggest that *you* pursue legal action against your H. Any of my posts have been written under the assumption that your H is going to take you into that fire.
Oh, yes, I know! Sorry if I conveyed the wrong message there! I was just talking out loud really; if I file, it's not a ploy. I'm just done.
I do agree with you that so much can change in a short amount of time. I'm trying to take things slowly, even though all I want is to get beyond this horrible stage in my life. I'm trying to NOT see it that way; to see it as a time I grew and changed. But darn it if my heart isn't smashed into a thousand pieces and I feel like crap.
Here is what I know tonight, and I will share it with my dear friends here. I love my H. very much. But I am not in love with who he is right now. I don't know the person he is at the moment and if I met him for the first time today, I wouldn't even want to date him. The things he is doing scare me. He would not even make a good boyfriend right now. I wonder why o.w. thinks he does? I pray several times a day for H. I honestly do. I don't want him to throw away a good life with someone who loves the good parts of him (which are buried and not being allowed to come out right now). He may not be capable of ever coming back to our marriage and I have begun to accept this. I still wish for his sake he would seek help for his depression, whether we ever have a new R. or not. Keep kind to yourself, okay? You're really doing a fabulous job, and you've got a lot of support Thank God for that!!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
