Actually, NY S, there's a part in the book under Curtain Call, that talks about expecting him to make contact just as you're moving on with your life.

Thanks, I know, I recommended the book to you. Actually the sense of the Curtain call segment is more that they seek to restablish contact because without the R pressures there, they begin to miss the good stuff. The LB moving on is more about the CP now feeling they're forever going to lose you. You know what a powerful motivator THAT can be, right?

I guess it has something to do with finally seeing you as NOT holding him down anymore, and he tries to start from the beginning (pursuit) again.

That's kinda the sense of it, yes.

I see this in H. already, as he's said he didn't want to cease all contact with me if we did D. (we have no children, though, so there isn't a big reason to stay in contact).

Guess we're in a similar sitch there, huh?

What do I need? Tranquility. Even the word is beautiful.

OK, so how will you acheive that for yourself?

I need to give H. a few more months but to let it be known that I realize he isn't coming back.

Huh? Why have a need to make anything like that "known" to H at all? I don't get it.

but I can tell you that come spring, I think I am going to be done with this, if he doesn't end it first (or do a 180 and want to come back).

Well... determined dates don't rule feelings or circumstances, so come Spring time you may find you've amended plans, or wish to. Too many ifs...

I'm just tired of feeling taken advantage of.

So the guy says to the doctor, "My arm hurts when I move it this way" and the doctor says, "Stop moving it that way".

I still love him very much but I do not like the way he is treating me at all.

Oh honey... this must be getting old... he's a WAS and will act like WASs do. You're NEVER going to like it, you're NOT expected to. But you do have to detach and accept it.

I know a lot of women who told me that they were in my position once, and they filed after months of waiting...and ended up regretting not waiting a little longer. I do not want to be added to their list

Well, I'm sure this makes sense to them, but not to me. I just got divorced a couple of months back, right? Yesterday my ex writes me indicating her fog is lifting. While reconsicliation may never happen, or while if it does happen it can still be far down the road, or tomorrow... What the heck does my divorce have to do with a frickin' thing??? Our relationship continues! Her positive feelings with me are NOT erased.