Actually, NY S, there's a part in the book under Curtain Call, that talks about expecting him to make contact just as you're moving on with your life. I guess it has something to do with finally seeing you as NOT holding him down anymore, and he tries to start from the beginning (pursuit) again. I see this in H. already, as he's said he didn't want to cease all contact with me if we did D. (we have no children, though, so there isn't a big reason to stay in contact). What do I need? Tranquility. Even the word is beautiful. I need to give H. a few more months but to let it be known that I realize he isn't coming back. I am not going to push to do anything in the middle of winter, but I can tell you that come spring, I think I am going to be done with this, if he doesn't end it first (or do a 180 and want to come back). I'm just tired of feeling taken advantage of. I still love him very much but I do not like the way he is treating me at all. I just have to be sure before I do anything because I really want no regrets down the road, and I know a lot of women who told me that they were in my position once, and they filed after months of waiting...and ended up regretting not waiting a little longer. I do not want to be added to their list.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
