I feel the same as you--I think I'm done, then I think I want him to be the one to end it (file) because why should I? And then I get scared and hope he won't.
Rollercoaster.
I'm trying to be strong, but I feel I have very little fight left in me tonight.
The feelings evolve over time (one way or the other) and the rollercoaster smooths out. You don't have to fight every day. Some days you should take a break - maybe bubble bath and wine?
