Been doing much thinking about my situation, and H’s actions. I did hear from him yesterday; he was cordial, asked how my weekend was, how my family has been. He was actually calling to ask me if I knew where something was (paperwork he needed) at our house, so there was a purpose for his call. Still, it was nice to hear from him. I don’t know, the affair is bad enough, but if I am correct in my deducing and he has been with others as well as o.w., he is becoming very unappealing to me. I might be able to forgive the affair, but the philandering activities beyond that are even more bothersome to me. What is H. turning into? I know I shouldn’t allow my imagination to get the best of me, but the thoughts are ever present and I do not like how I feel inside about my H. right now. How could he love me at all, if he could behave this way?
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hey hope- Just checking in with you this morning. I wasn't online at all yesterday.
No prob re: the legal advice. I know its not what you want to talk about, but i just wanted to share my experience so that you know you have options, if it should come to that. Although it was painful, i think it would have been a lot worse if my H and I were battling.
Its good that you have not been initiating as much contact with your H. For me, it allows me to have some control over the situation.
I forget...have you read "Surviving Infidelity?" I am about half way through and there are a lot of things in there that make so much sense. It also gives techniques on how to stop negative thoughts. I found it very interesting and helpful thus far. I would definitely recommend it.
Well, i just wanted to check in with you this morning. Hope you have a good day.
Nice hearing from you. I don’t think I’ve read that book; who is the author? I’d like to get a copy. I agree that not being the one to contact H. does give me a little bit of control over the situation, which is helpful because everything else has made me feel so out of control most of the time. I know you understand that. Mostly now when he calls it has a business purpose (financial matter, looking for paperwork that would be at our house). He doesn’t usually call just to say hello and see how I’m doing. Sometimes I wonder if that is because he’s trying to wear me down; maybe I’ll get to the point where I can’t take this minimal interaction with him anymore and I’ll put this marriage out of its misery. I’m not at that stage yet. Thanks for checking in.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hey hope- I don't know who the author is, but Sassy might know...i think she is one of the people who recommended it.
I am glad to hear that you are not yet at the stage of ending things. B/c i think it is important that we make that decision for ourselves and not based on a reaction to something that our WAHs do. Does that make sense?
Anyway, try to have a good day...sending you hugs!
Hope- I missed this post this morning. Definitely get Surviving Infidelity...it addresses these issues that you are talking about. I've thought the same thing: how could my H love me and act like this? But, in the book, it explains what kind of thinking that is, and why its wrong. It was so helpful. I tend to think that they do love us, they just love themselves more right now.
I tend to think that they do love us, they just love themselves more right now.
Imdi couldn't be more right. I can see that my H loves me, but he's so selfish, selfish, selfish. We must find out who is giving our Hs their crazy pills and lock them up.
