I'm an avid reader--or so I was, before this crisis took away my ability to concentrate on anything but self-help. Recently though, I've started to pick up some books. I just began The Dogs of Babel, one I've wanted to read for quite some time. I actually watch very little tv lately. For the longest time, I just wanted to shut out the world (post-bomb). I got into watching DVD's that did not provoke me to think about WAH. I still prefer to pop in a movie than have the tv on. I don't know; I guess we all experience the trauma differently but this was a big thing with me. I just couldn't have the tv on; I wanted to shut out everything. (I'm better now). I do know that if H. chooses to not return, I will somehow be ok. I wish he could want me back in his life, but if he doesn't I will have to learn how to get over it. It will take a long time; I'm one of those who truly believed we would be together for the rest of our lives. I hope this is a stress-free, non-dramatic week for me. Wouldn't that be nice?
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
