Quote: it's depression. When he's talking to me, he lets the true him come out; he takes off the mask and shows how he really feels to me. Around others, the mask goes on, and he pretends all is great in his life, when it actually isn't. He feels comfortable enough with me to show himself to me. Everyone else gets the actor.
This is absolutely true. He shows you his misery not because he is miserable when he talks to you but because of his comfort with you...that's a good thing! And work is often a sanctuary where they can forget their problems and just focus on the job at hand.
Quote: blames our marriage as the source for his unhappiness, but I think the truth is that it's coming from his displeasure at work, and also his low self-esteem.
They all blame the marriage...or at least see it as another source. Sweetheart recognizes he is to blame and not me or our marriage...but still gets scared that our marriage ALSO won't work. I think he also [deep down] recognizes that our marriage is his saving grace. Sweetheart and I didn't fight all the time either...sure there were arguments, but nothing that was significant. I personally think low self-esteem is the main issue they must overcome in MLC/QLC.
Go dark so you can separate yourself from the insanity for awhile. Do you work? If so, that will take up some of your time. What else to do with your time...Go to the library and get books...MANY. Not just novels to lose yourself in. This QLC/MLC has put you on a journey too, you need to find out what it's purpose for you is...go and learn. Meditate...just light some candles, look into the fire and watch the flames flicker ...unfocus you eyes and relax. Play soft music or a guided meditation. Go to the gym. find new things to interest you...that do not have anything to do with turning on the TV.
Take this dark time to accept your own journey so your husband can come back into your life.
