Wow, I'm sorry your H. said that to you. I know we're not supposed to take anything they say personally, but of course, how easy is that? It's not. My H. isn't using alcohol to subside his pain; he's using o.w. I've done so much reading about depression and I know that when a spouse is suffering from it, the depression will make them feel like they are not in love with their spouse anymore. I do think that is what is wrong with H. and that is why he seeks the thrill ride with o.w. because it's making him feel something again. He was so unhappy here, he tells me. Miserable, even. But it was not like we were fighting all the time, having all kinds of problems, etc. If that were so, I would be able to understand why he felt so unhappy. He blames our marriage as the source for his unhappiness, but I think the truth is that it's coming from his displeasure at work, and also his low self-esteem.
I really wish there was a way I could get help for him and see if our R. could be saved.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
