A very snowy, windy morning here in the northeast.
Making coffee and thinking a lot about what H. could be thinking, that he would want to live his life this way. I've come to some conclusions about it, and am working the answers out slowly. I need to do this if I'm going to be able to fully detach and let go of him. I'm seeing the light as I look back on our marriage and his behavior through those years. This doesn't mean I'm finding any way I can personally help him; I'm just discovering why he's ended up this way. It's helped to talk to some of my family members who know him so well, too. They have shed some light on the situation for me.
I've got to start looking for a dress for this wedding in the summer. I was going to look today, but it's pretty nasty weather out there. If it clears up later I'll venture out.
No calls to him, from him. I guess we've gone dark on each other, after Thursday night's dinner together. Probably for the best. I still think about him; I hope he does the same.
Time for that coffee...
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
