Your PMA has to come from you, not from someone else. Don't depend on your H for your happiness. Personally, I think you are addicted to talking to your H about your R. You obsess about it, you want to know every intimate detail of his thoughts, but then cannot deal with the outcome. That has to stop. Find a different focus, find a different outlet. Here is good, screaming on the street corner or out in the woods is fine too.
You feel like a fly on H? hey that's good! you can feel when a fly lands, right? He knows you are there, he can feel it.
Always, be very careful about what is really happening in your own sitch, and getting caught up in what is going with other people. This is a good place to come and vent and get advice, but do not what is happening with everyone affect your attitude, it happens, I know. Concentrate on you, your marriage, your relationship, your husband. Keep it separate from what you read about everyone else.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
