Thanks for the reality check, WCW, you're absolutely right. No pets (allergies). Strong suggested that I observe my down swings (accompanied by negative thoughts) and come up with a strategy to push myself out of it. End of the day and waking up in the morning are 2 big times. At times, it's a tremendous effort to put a smile on and move through it--much as it is for all of us (nothing special here). Might just be ME, and not the situation.
So, back to being solution-oriented, instead of just a ranting weirdo. Well, ranting here IS a good way for me to release/vent without taking it further--it's worked to calm me more that I would be. (THANK YOU ALL!). Second, when I wake in the morning, I'm gonna force myself to 5-10 min to myself (like meditating) where I orient myself in a positive direction. This might be a nice habit in the long run. Second, during the last hour of my day, and alone hours at home b/f H comes home, I think I'm gonna make an effort to find some positive R reading, uplifting reading to do. I find that if I just focus on tasks, I forget the sitch, but don't necessarily get myself into positive space.
There's more than not asking ?s and not talking R, H is REALLY in tune to my thoughts (can sense something wrong even when I'm cheerily quiet). I read somewhere on these BBs about the 4-minute rule...the first 4 minutes of your initial interaction with spouse sets the tone. This is true...my eye contact, smile, warmth are all things he picks up on, and reacts to. When I've tried to control these, I have to make sure I'm sincere in feelings, not just acting, b/c he picks up. But, when I do quickly shift into positive mode, it makes for a really nice evening.
