thought of one more thing....I read over my posts and it seems that I screw up in small ways each day. They are getting less and less...no more questions of assessing how he feels, nagging, etc.
I need to buckle down and really put 100% into each moment, so I don't have little episodes. I know it's probably something we can recover from, but I can imagine how much slower I make things go with these mishaps.
On the other hand, I noticed at dinner tonight and last night, that there were a million questions that popped into my head, that I just thought about, and just let go and not let come fly out of my mouth...like "did you call your parents" " What did they say? "Do they hate me" "How do you feel" "where is the phone, why" [insert a million ?s here]. I'm not even bothered by not asking, not like I have to squelch the desire (I used to be that way, but getting easier). Then it makes me sad, b/c I feel, is it that I'm changing for the better, or just losing the desire to openly talk to the person who is supposed to be my best friend.
