Trying to move forward one step at a time

[StrongEnough]

Always,

Sorry to hear that you are a little bummed today. It still seems that you have had many positives despite that. Look at those things to help pick you up a bit and if that fails......go shopping!!

When I think back, he used to be open to talking, before I turned into a raving B**&%$.

That is a very powerful insight about yourself. If your H is like me, he doesn't look forward to R talks because they escalate into a disagreement or flat out fight. I WILL not fight with him anymore. I wasted too many years fighing. We are all facing a long, difficult journey and things that cause your spouse to feel pushed away only set us back. Always keep that insight in the back of your mind when you have R talks. If he gets sad when you bring up the trust issue, then maybe the two of you can find a way to resolve that. H knows that you don't trust him like you should, and he knows it's fault for lying. Everytime we tell them we don't trust them, or question them on things.....they are reminded of how bad they screwed up and that we are forgiving of their faults. At least your H gets sad, sometimes my H is unaffected other times he gets rip roaring pissed. Easy to get to either extreme given the situations. It's almost like he feels he should have no guilt or blame at all.

So, find some postiives to focus on. Like you H reached out to you!!! THat is awesome!!

If all else fails, grab your beer and I'll see you back here tonight. LMAO. I am *hoping* that H wouldn't mind me taking a little break tonight and getting out of this house! Maybe take my D out, or just go out alone to my fav. thrift store. Who knows, just an hour or so to destress. If you didn't live so far away I would come pick you up and drag you out shopping by your ears!

I hope you have a great night with H. Remember...good thoughts, good thougts, good thoughts.........