You know, it's good for me to think about this....I know that showing faith and trust is important, but you're right, it's normal to question.
H was TOTALLY normal when EA started. Granted, it was 3.5 weeks, intense for 1 week, conversations were mostly 10 min, mostly an insane amount of text messages. He honestly did not think he was doing anything wrong. He was devastated when he admitted it, lying to cover up a small thing that snowballed (so he felt). I told him that I didn't mind if he had a FF; I have plenty of MFs. Even if venting about us, just that he should tell me. I FLIPPED b/c it was lied about, and then the volume of text messages. SO, because I FLIPPED, I think he'd try to hide something innocent.
Our sex life has really taken a hit since the "bomb" the last 2.5 months. It's normal, I guess. We're both really stressed, sad, angry, distanced, like being in 1 r-e-a-l-l-y long fight. I assume it would be hard for him to have a PA...he walks to work, I usually have the car. He does work late, he got promoted and is working the equivalent of 2 FT jobs....so he does have lots of time at work to talk to folks, which is where he used to have small chats with FF. Who knows. I guess I can only ask, and get the answer that I get. I can only tell him that I totally trust him, and hope that'll make him feel guilty to tell or stop. But really, if it's a friendship to vent, then I don't mind...it's not different than what I have here with folks. He wanted to lie to me last weekend about his bro coming into town (said his bro asked that I not know he was here [I'm starting to see WEIRD family] and he thought it might confuse or hurt me]...but after I asked once where he was going so early, he came in and spilled the beans. Then it was a quick confession about the phone too. He said he couldn't lie to me like that {he withheld info on things his family said about wanting him to D me, but he said b/c he felt so bad in hurting me and guilty for having such a weird family--I assured him it wasn't his fault, I went thru that too, not mad at him}...I also told him I can tell when he does lie. I remember when he confessed about the EA in Oct, I was shocked, b/c he NEVER lied to me like that. I told him so, and he agreed, he said he only did it b/c it started out as him REALLY frustrated at our M, not knowing what to do, really sad, and confided in a friend for advice...that friend did most of the initiating contact, and then it bloomed to crazy txt messages. I KNOW this sounds like a recipe for disaster...and I really do have doubts at times, then my gut says NO. I don't know what to think...so all I can do is believe. Worst case, I get caught feeling later that I should have known all along. I joked last night about him having an affair, and that I knew he didn't , and he got really sad and serious, just to talk about the topic. Don't know what to make of it all...just let it go for now and trust. What do you think?
I guess I have an H that has a life mostly perfect for EA/PA, but I do't know how to help that. I told him that last night, that aside from him being home for the little time he is, I have no idea of anything else b/c we're so distanced and disconnected. He could be doing anything. I don't pry or ask...he said it was sad that I jumped to the worst conclusion, but that he understood. He did answer questions about $ and other things I asked (he's been drawing lots of $$ out during Dec, but he had reasons & explained). I KNOW this sounds like a bad picture....tell me what you think.
Yeah, sucks that ILs are like that. I am being good tonight about not thinking about it much. Going out really helped. I can't control that situation. It's in his hands and his family's. All I can do is be the best person I can be day to day. He received 2 packages from them (to our house mail, so not meant as a secret pckg) and he said he doesn't want to open them. Has my name on it, but I won't open. I think he just wants to ignore it b/c of their actions and he's feeling uncomfortable, or maybe I'm reading it all wrong. Who knows.
Mmmmmm, just finished my beer You GO girl, Toasted Almonds. You know, I've been meaning to try that for a while, but never got around to it. Maybe that's a nice drink for WCW...yummy!
Nice finds at the $ Store! Wine glasses and candles...and 3 shirts for under 3 bucks at the thrift store. Cheap thrills go a l-o-n-g way right now! Expect little and you shall always be happy!
You GO girl, Toasted Almonds. You know, I've been meaning to try that for a while, but never got around to it. Maybe that's a nice drink for WCW...yummy! 
