Speaking of strong, it's what I'm feeling more of today (which is good because I don't think I could have melted down more yesterday).
I resolved (we'll see how long I can stick to it) to not worry, or even think about, things I cannot control or have no power over. IE: what my in-laws think of me. It takes 2 to screw up a M, and I am taking my share of the blame and changing. I cannot help what they think. I cannot care for now--wow, getting tough love on yourself really works...a release.
Had a great day at work, worked out this morning, felt great...overall a nice day. I tried to get out of this vortex of M-fixing that I've been in for 2.5 months to take stock of the rest of my life, things that I need to turn attention to, things that I look forward to. What a great feeling.
I'm also realizing that this refocus and balance is helping me to be not so emotionally overfocused on the M, which makes me more apt to forgive, accept, let go and love.
Efforts to bridge the gap to a better M: 1) Give H some space and alone time (something he never has)....let him go out alone, etc.
2) At the same time, do things with H that will give you time together, make it fun and cheery.
3) Will yourself to be less nervous, more carefree, gentle and kind. Just a good friend.
4) When you're feeling blue, happy, etc, turn to him.
5) If you think of little nice things to do for him, do it. Don't hold back and second guess.
6) Don't expect anything in return (hard work on this one).
&) Be calm and constructive about R talk, don't make it a big ordeal to talk R, just casual when driving, doing chores, etc. Make it more a normal topic.
8) Be understanding and patient with H.
9) Thank H for kind things he does for you, really makes a difference. Let him know that he makes you happy.
10) TOUGH time at work for H. Be supportive and do extra nice things for him (that you used to do). Acts of love.
Hmmmm.I think 10 is enough for now....
Any advice? Am I being short-sighted or simple here?
