You know that talking is what makes you connect emotionally, what is the trigger for your H to connect? I also love to talk and be conversationally intimate with my H. We never did it often enough for me, but I do remember a conversation when we were in our beginning stages. We were on the phone, and he dumped every one his past regrets on the table, told me to ask whatever I wanted, he wanted to start with a clean slate. That was one of the biggest things he ever did for me, and he did it on his own. He did that once. If I ever tried to bring those things up again, he shut down. I don't like it, but it's how it is, he's not proud of those things, and does not want to be reminded in conversation. But he told me that once, and I cherish that.
Is his fear of hurting you, or of what you will do with the information? how will you react, what has been tradition? will you bring it up again and again?
You use the words "I cannot". whew! be careful! I thought that way a lot before I got here. And I prefer to think that I haven't reduced my standards, but I have adjusted my goals. For now.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
