Wow xrd, that was SO close to what I would REALLY like to tell my W most of the time, it's scary. I am really glad you posted that. I think if you keep reflecting on that and internalize it, you can use it as motivation to stay the course and make yourself better. The part about not diminishing her responsibility is so true. We seem to take so much of the blame for this on ourselves, but in the end, we only contributed to a situation for which there were many different ways for her to deal with. She chose the most hurtful and selfish of these ways. We love them, and thats the bottom line for us. We may not have known how to express that, but we are learning...right in time for them to walk away. Keep up the work on yourself and keep posting. We are ready, willing and able to support you.
