2005 seemed to be a deadly year for me, I'm only hoping that 2006 brings me new in-sites into my behavior and why I failed as a husband. I guess from childhood I have carried around this anger and, of course, everyone knew why except me. (do we ever really take a good look at ourselves?) One good thing that came out of this situation was that my counselor showed me how this was not only hurting the people around me, but myself also. I am happy to say that he also showed me how to forgive my mom and for the first time in my life I can see things a little clearer and I seem not to carry that burden around any longer. Of course, I have much more to learn.
I do want to ask you also for forgiveness for all the times I hurt you and for pushing you into an affair. For all the years I've known you, I know this is not who you are. Forgive me. Don't misunderstand, I do not mean to diminish your responsibility in this affair and it's consequences, but I do want to own up to my part. Please forgive me for putting you through this, as I still Love you and always will. I know you'll probably think I'm a pathetic hopeful, but I'm trying to create a new environment for you to want to come back too and we can be a stronger family unit. I know other guys maybe can show you better things, but you, you have my and the girls' heart always.
