Where's my pot of gold?

[StrongEnough]

Well, H has been calling me a lot today. Wanted to take me and the kids out to dinner. I got him to agree to dinner at home since I really am not up to going anywhere.

He sensed that I was depressed, which I am, and I guess he thought it was because he wasn't here. He said "I think it's healthy for us to be apart right now". I told him that agreed 100%, that's why I asked for the seperation. He was originally only giving me one more night, but maybe he is reconsidering it.

All in all, after the anger from me asking him to leave subsided, he was able to see that it WAS for the best for everyone. He had always fought me on the "time away, time alone" idea because he just didn't get it. Now that he had last night to himself and his thougts, he found a benefit. I hope now that he finally understands why every now and then I like to get away alone.

We (I) shed a lot of tears today out of hurt, anger, confusion. I am really in flight mode right now and have been for a while. Things are rough between me and my mother right now and that doesn't help my situation. We aren't even speaking and she told me to find a new mother. I hate my house with a passion b/c this is where the A happened. I really feel like I need to get the heck out of here.

We had been toying with the possibility of moving to NH. We both have a lot of family there. I am ready to sell this house to the first bidder, pack up and head to NH. I don't care if we have to rent an apartment or house until we find one we like in the area we want. So, if any reading this is selling their home in NH.....let's make a deal!!! LOL

Then I have to wonder if this is because toying with moving there has been going on for so long that I am ready to just do it, or am I asking for trouble? Maybe this IS MLC for me. I know that there is a possibility that this "fresh start" for us could do us no good at all. AM I losing my mind or what????

~SE