Forgive me if I repeat what has already been said or advised already. It's hard to get through a whole thread.
This is advice I'm giving myself as well because I'm at the beginning of this process. I know where you are coming from with posting on the newcomers and understanding what they are going through and what advice to give. We've been there and done that. But if you are like me, you are a little lost about what to do when DBing works. I think that is because many of us followed the same path in the book...what to do "after the bomb", which primarily means LRT and focusing on your self-improvements and not your spouse. So the rest of the book went essentially unused. I think it's probably time to pick it back up and figure out how to achieve what you want by doing something different. We never got the chance to work towards R goals when the spouse was out of the picture. It's probably time to start working on R goals more while maintaining the positive personal goals.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
