A few days since I've written to you....sorry that your weekend was a little rough. Ugh.
But, the email---WOW!!! That's amazing. Isn't that what you've been wanting, in a way? Don't read into what he didn't say but says otherwise...for now, believe in the email. We've all said a lot of things in the past that we didn't mean, wish the other person would forget b/c we're trying to change. This is the FIRST time that your H has expressed this kind of remorse in a while and really understood how you're feeling...as opposed to his needs.
Speaking of emails...do you think that this could be a better medium to talk? I know my H said that he liked getting my emails, non-confrontational, he could read whenever, no pressure to react, etc. Also, you could express lots of affection and care through words that are often hard to do in person...like telling him that you DO care about his needs and meeting them, that you're trying.
Sounds like H is being a little more sensitive to how he's making you feel. He's climbing out of his guilt haze of panick and seeing YOU.
I think he's really trying. I know sex is the ultimate need from him, while he's open to talking, can you ask him what would make him feel that you're trying, while not jumping to the final act for you....more kisses, etc, etc? Sometimes it's nice when the other person points out what they're trying to do...when you're panicked you don't see. For example, I was SO hung up on H not talking...I was so panicked in seeing big results and not letting our M go down the tubes that I was blind to his efforts. He pointed them out one day, and I realized....I realized other things too that he's trying....I compliment them. So maybe you could remind him of the things he's doing. Can you also compliment him on the email, for ONCE not cornering you in a conversation face to face (rather writing an email), for admitting to lots of things, and for really putting himself in your shoes. That's nice.
hang in there, you'll get there...you have lots of little positives here. Keep it up.
