Where's my pot of gold?

[StrongEnough]

Hi everyone thanks for stopping by.

AK- We went to Foxwoods. I like both casinos though.

Well, H got home a little early. When he came in he wanted to know what was going on, so I just told him. On the way there he thanked me for planning this for us.

We had a good night. Played bingo, played the slots, ordered some champagne and whatnot from room service. Didn't get to sleep until 2:30 (then I woke up at 5:30).

H was acting quiet and distant this morning. We rode home in silence. I asked him three times what was wrong only to get "this is how I get" as an answer

After we got home and my parents left, he told me what was bothering him. Basically, he was hurt and angry that there was no intimacy last night. He said that if I don't want to intimate with him on our anniversary, then he knows where this M stands. We went around in circles about for over an hour. H basically said he wasn't sure if he could do this anymore, and if there isn't any intimacy in our M he doesn't know if he wants to stay in it. I told him there is more to marriage then that, and right now those other things aren't there between us. I don't feel close to him emotionally, so I don't want intimacy, he doesn't get intimacy and doesn't feel close. The usual.

I am at a loss. He walked out the door and hasn't come back. Now, what if I was to have surgery and could never be intimate again? Would he leave me? And I understand that intimacy is important in any R, but is it worth throwing away your family because you don't have the patience to wait for the M to heal after you screwed it up by having an A?

I told him that I was sorry that the healing process for both of us is taking way longer then he initially thought, and that if he doesn't have the patience to wait it out, then that's only a decision he can make. His response "I am not going to make things easy for you, you just don't want to be the one to pull the trigger".

Luckily my D came home so it was time to end the (at that point) telephone conversation. I just don't know what to do anymore and I am beggining to think that we cannot work as a couple in a M only as friends and co-parents.

Anyone have any thoughts?

~SE