Where's my pot of gold?

[StrongEnough]

Thanks for the prayers for my daughter. She doesn't currently have thryoid disease, she has diabetes but tested positive to the antibody so it's a wait and see game now.

LOL...cold weather? Yeah, I agree. I would love to move to a warmer climate but H doesn't want to hear it. (Although he hates the cold too) As it was, we had a snow and hail storm yesterday that I had to drive through to get her to Boston. What nornally is an hour and a half ride turned into just short of three hours. My S2 wasn't very happy about that!!

H didn't initiate counseling on his own. For the last year, he has fought against it saying that he didn't need it because he knew what he wanted. (That statement still blows my mind) At my urging, he finally agreed to go to counseling. He is hopinng that the C will help him deal with his anxiety a little better. He seems to have low expectations that he will get anything out of it. I hope he gets some antidepressants. Today is his first apointment so we shall see.

I have been trying in earnest to think of ways that make H feel needed. Maybe I am just closed-minded, but I can't think of anything positive that would make he feel needed. I don't think I know how to reach out to someone. I am so used to being a "complete unit" within myself. I know that sounds weird, I hope you get what I mean.

On a positive note, H and I watched tv in bed last night. I initiated cuddling with him. It was nice. After we were done watching our show and shut the tv off, he still seemed disappointed about something. I asked him if he was falling asleep, he said no. I was ready to so I told him that, kissed him goodnight, told him that I love him and he rolled over a bit frustrated. Again, just makes me feel like I can't do anything right. Then I wonder if it is more of the same with his controlling nature. That he keeps raising the ante as a way to control me and force me to keep stepping forward towards him? Any thoughts?

~Strong