Where's my pot of gold?

[StrongEnough]

Sage......

It seems to me that you guys are having a LOT of R talks...and that they don't seem to be working particularly well right now

Yes, unfortunately we are. I have told him that he is too focused on this M and spends way too much time thinking about it and asking me about it. I never initiate R talks with him, he is always the initiator.

My usual resonse to giving 100% is that I don't have it to give. I really don't know what a 180 would be without lying to him. I think he does tie it to my fidelity and my intentions and whether or not I am still considering other options. To answer another one of your questions, I have flat out told him many times that I would not cheat in order to retaliate and that he should know me better than that. I am not a cheater and never will be. He even admitted that that was the one thing he always told himself "Well, I know no matter what happened, she would never cheat on me." Now he has doubts.

As far as stopping the talks, the chat about commitment levels, etc. I have tried. He tells me that he is only expressing his feelings and that is how heis now. He talks about what bothers him. But he doesn't talk as much as he questions. It's a vicous cycle and it gets us nowhere. I can see this, he can't. I would love to focus on other things sometimes other then what's wrong with our M. But, he has to be willing to do the same.

Yes, we do torque each other up. I think if we didn't always have to talk about our R then it wouldn't be so bad. Frustrations and emotions run high when R talk happen so often with us and pushing each other's buttons are our strengths, not agreeing to disagree or come to resolutions. That is why I am pushing for MC, maybe if a MC told him to back off on the talks, he might listen.