Where's my pot of gold?

[StrongEnough]

jstx- I agree. Sage gave some REALLY good advice.

SO, you've been going through this for two years? Where do you find the strength?

I can't say that I expect things to be fixed now. It would be nice but I am not that unrealistic. I think H is though. I can see how things like this take time. Especially on our part. There are trust issues, anger, etc. to deal with. None of that goes away overnight. H feels at this point, we should be able to forget about the past, and just try to move forward from this point. That's just not possible. Some of his A happened right here in our house. There are daily reminders of that. And yes, when is comes to the "should I loeave" I usually opt for procrastination too. Having 2 kids helps that decision.

<sigh> I don't know where I got the idea that most couples are happy when they reconcile. I guess I just see things in other people's posts that are different from what I am feeling so I ASSume they are happy and I am not. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy, but it is turning out to be much harder then I ever imagined it would be. And no, piecing is definitely NOT for the faint of heart.

As far as it not being my decicion anymore. Boy, do I understand that. H has made sure he pounded that into my head!

All in all, I am thankful to be here. It's nice not to feel so alone and to be reassured that this is an uphill battle. AHH.....if I only had some good walking shoes........

~StrongEnough