Hi there--thanks for your post on my thread today. I'm new here too, and it is hard to dispense advice to folks here who are SO great and knowledgable...I'm just muddling through (or so it feels on many days).

You sound great today. I think we must be on a similar wavelength...I'm feeling the same today too. I had a meltdown yesterday (you prob. read on the post) where I realized that I had let a lot of other things in life slide and lose focus while being hyper-focused on M. I want that back.

I love your goals. They will really make you feel better about YOU!!! I started working out again, and found that mentally, it makes me feel great...brings me out of a funk (esp. when in the morning). Think of all the things going great in your life (friends, kids, work, etc). Take solace in the things you DO have under control...it makes you feel better.

GO OUT!!!! I initially HATE going out when I'm feeling blue, or have others over, but afterwards, I can think of nothing better.

Do your nails, put on a nice outfit, grab some nice dinner and have a few drinks....ask your cousin to drive!!! Let yourself free for a night. You know, work that into your schedule regularly....so you don't feel resentful for being "chained down."

I think your H will be happy when he sees how happy you are. Let him know where you are and what time you'll be home, carry your cell, but let him know that you need this. Not to get away from him, but for balance in life. I can see where he is skiddish, he wants you back and wants to be a great H, and is afraid that he is being replaced. My H did the same thing. He was insanely busy at work, and I thought instead of always making him feel guilty for not being there with me, I would find my own fun and that might make him feel better...NOT. He felt that I had a better time alone. So explain your reasons so it doesn't backfire.

You seem to be doing great. Fostering that reconnection after such a distance in M is so hard, I'm finding.

FUNNY--if you ever feel blue...I saw that you posted on Finally_Free's thread...just imagine yourself lucky not to be married to him!! ha ha ha!