Where's my pot of gold?

[sage]

I know that most people are happy when they reconcile with their spouses......I just really need some input on this.

It's REALLY common to struggle with negative feelings once the WAS returns. 'cause you've been in self-preservation mode for a long time and then all of a sudden, you are faced with confronting all the anger, hurt, betrayal, etc, that wasn't right in front of you.

Lots of things may help...what works for you and h remains to be seen...

exercise
spending positive time together
therapy (alone or together) with a marriage minded counselor
making sure you're taking good care of yourself
acting "as if"
meditating
applying DB
using books together ("After the Affair", "How can I forgive you?" spring to mind) or alone
Taking a break from "fixing" things
Other things I can't think of right now...

I KNOW others here have dealt with similar feelings...anyone else care to chime in????

Sage