I guess it is the type of stuff he looks at that makes it hard for me. And my past. With my ex-H, he was seriously into it. Would bring home Playboy, Hustler, and Penthouse every month. So we did get into doing the porn thing together. It was fun sometimes. We would watch movies together or look at pictures and say what turned us on about them. But then he still kept cheating on me and left me for the OW. They are currently married and miserable, but that doesn't help my issues.
My current BF doesn't look at sex porn. Just pics of girls posing sexy in panties and things. I think that is what makes it hard. There is nothing for me to join in on there. At least not that I can see in my hurt state. Also we have bought some movies to watch together yet never have. He knows that from time to time I MB to them but he shows no interest in watching them together. He wanted to know why I felt there was a difference between what we were doing. I told him that I was turned on by the act and it was the only outlet I have. Besides as the HD in the relationship, I am always eager to be with him, never say no to anything. He however was looking at specific girls. In fact some he had returned to there sites so many times he had created folders for them. It felt like an A b/c he kept looking for the same girls specifically.
After I first found the mass of sites of cute girls on his computer, I decided I would fight back. So I took his camera and took some pics of myself and emailed the good ones to him. That night when he got home from work, I still had my computer on and told him they were on mine too. He got very giggly and made me show him real quick. He really liked them, said they were awesome and joked about sending them. But I still didn't get lucky.
