Hmmmm. She's on a frickin' rollercoaster herself, isn't she? Or is hers more like a merry-go-round?
Don't get caught up in her vortex.
Let her do what she wants to do. She's a little addicted, but probably will get smacked upside the head again by OM's manipulating, controlling, treating her like sh#$#$t nonsense.
You, Tim, in the meantime learn to detach so it doesn't eat at you. Doesn't mean you become a doormat, it just means you're going to spare yourself from the aggravation. Let go of seeing her actions as disrespectful. I'm not saying they aren't or are, I'm just saying don't make it part of the equation. You seem to personalize a lot of stuff she does, and it eats at you.
In reality, she's just bouncing back and forth, reacting to her feelings, conflicted perhaps. Boing. It's not about you.
Obviously I am a fool!
No, you're not. You're only a fool if you believe you're a fool. You're not judged foolish by what your W chooses to do. You're just a guy trying to make your way through unchartered waters. That's not foolish. A fool can't do that. A fool doesn't listen to the wise. A fool doesn't see what he has to do, nor does it.
Let go of these types of thoughts. Learn to detach! I'll tell you a secret. When you let go of these things, detach, reality doesn't change. Only your feelings about reality can change. So you don't "lose" anything in reality, but stand to gain much.
The other thing that happens is that when you change, she can change in response. What kind of change? Beats me, but if you react negatively out of frustration and hurt and anger, letting it taint your efforts even unconsciously, that's more likely not to result in her drawing closer to you, would you agree?
Think of this too... you want these things now. You've been giving yourself expectations and hope... and by doing that, when those hopes seem dashed, it comes crashing down hard. Instead, have zero expectations and just stay with the plan, put hope in that, if anything, rather on her. And realize that these things take time, and the time isn't right now, that's all.
Am I just supposed to say "HI honey how was supper?" and act like nothing is wrong!
