I understand your need to say ILY to those you care about but your W will know this even if you don't say it all the time. Next time you feel your willpower slipping, force yourself to take a step back.
If you want to call her instead do something for yourself first. Personally I'm a bit of a homebody so I know how hard it can be to GAL. But, from what you've written, it seems very important to your W that you exist separate from her. It's a lot of pressure to be responsible for someone else's happiness.
Maybe you should plan a weekend away for yourself. Visit some friends, family you haven't seen in a while and use it as an opportunity to do some serious thinking.
But, whatever you do, you must give your wife some space. Sometimes for whatever reason people just need to be left alone.
