Quote:


You and I both need to let our spouses pursue us for a change. Think about it this way, nobody wanted to be friends with the annoying guy/girl in high school who followed everyone around and looked pathetic. This is no different. That is what we've become in our H/W's eyes. They still love us, but they do things out of pity, not real love and respect.

So when she asks you to stop pressuring her, just say "OK" and then leave it alone.

I've been thinking about your response to your W asking "What makes Tim happy?" You probably need to spend some time thinking yourself. What really does make you happy? She asked a valid question. Perhaps she is thinking about what makes her happy. It would be a good thing for her, and for yourself, to have an answer to this question.

And, don't forget that whether or not you think things are going well, she came back when she didn't have to and wants to work on your R. As hard as it is, you're going to have to give her some time.

SuperStressed
The Meaning of Love



YOu are right our W need to pursue us right now!
I hate the feeling of pity love from my W! I feel it necessary to say ILY to someone you truly love becasue you never know when you won't have the chance again! But I agree I need to let her come to me with an ILY, and this just happened. I called her to wish her luck on her exam out of town this weekend and at the end of the conversation there was a pause when I normally say ILY and this time she did! It caught me of guard and then she hung up, so I phoned back immediately and said I love you. And that was that! Read between the lines take it for what it is???!?!?!
I also really do need to focus on what makes Tim happy! I have definetly lost that! I have been so focused on the R and marriage that I have lost alot of what makes me happy! On the flip side I have found alot about myself and my character that I thought I had lost or at least misplaced! It is hard to be happy when such a big portion of a persons life is unhappy and in disaray!

Tim my story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1049617&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1