I know I was supposed to kick your W's butt, but I think I'm going to have to kick yours instead.
Just caught up on your sitch and all I can say is this: You're stressing me out man. If you're stressing me out, think about what it must be doing to your W.
You and I both need to let our spouses pursue us for a change. Think about it this way, nobody wanted to be friends with the annoying guy/girl in high school who followed everyone around and looked pathetic. This is no different. That is what we've become in our H/W's eyes. They still love us, but they do things out of pity, not real love and respect.
So when she asks you to stop pressuring her, just say "OK" and then leave it alone.
I've been thinking about your response to your W asking "What makes Tim happy?" You probably need to spend some time thinking yourself. What really does make you happy? She asked a valid question. Perhaps she is thinking about what makes her happy. It would be a good thing for her, and for yourself, to have an answer to this question.
And, don't forget that whether or not you think things are going well, she came back when she didn't have to and wants to work on your R. As hard as it is, you're going to have to give her some time.
