HELP! "Just friends?" Slipping very fast

[Tim297181]

I am just waxing philosophical today I guess in the absence of no real news on my front today.
Anyway, be careful that you are not just being friends because it's what SHE wants, or for the kids. Be friends because you realize that it's what's best for YOU right now. You should never give up your dream of an intact marriage but neither should you cling to an image in your, or HER mind.
I think you are going to be fine in this decision, you just need to stick to it.

TMU

TMU you are so right! I need to be friends becasue I want to be friends! I want us to be 2 strong individuals that are seperate in our growth and indivduality, and allow us to share in our strength to grow together! My friendship with her will never die, and I have to go back to the start 14 years ago when we first met! We became very close friends instantly then became romantically involved! But there was the chase involved! She pursued me! Now she is pushy me away! I have to change that and that comes from changing myself! Thanx TMU you have really helped me out today! I know we both need to relax a little and let the chips fall where they may without trying to control or predict the outcome!

Flaneur! Thank-you for insight! I need a womens point a view! I must listen to you and not bring up the R or the Om no matter how hard! I even past the SOB on the road during lunch today as I drove home! The emmotions were overwhelming. I need to let go of the expectations and start with a clean slate!

Ny said
Instead, understand what your woman is really saying, what she's all about, why women do and act the way they do, be their rock and support for that's what they need from us, want from us, and look to us for. A man who inspires her to be the woman she is, to be fully feminine, and feels free and comfortable to be that woman, for which she'll love you even more. To find your higher purpose, and stay connected to your higher purpose, and share yourself lovingly with her.

They want a mate, not a girl friend.

This quote form NY has stuck in my head all afternoon! I need her to be free and find out for herself what she wants. If I interfer she will always resent me and when we get back together it will be another hurdle to overcome. I want her to be strong and independent, and so do I!

I have a question after all this. My W goes from working on our R then uses that she needs to work on herself before she can work on the R. Is this just an excuse or is this a reality for her? I want to work on the R and myself at the same time how can you move forward as one falls apart and the other gets better?